What if confidence is not about performing, proving, or becoming more impressive?

What if it is about letting go of who you think you are supposed to be and finally allowing yourself to be fully seen?

In this episode of The Fun & Bliss Show, Monick Halm and Moneeka Sawyer sit down with confidence expert, bestselling author, publisher, life and business coach, podcast host, and TEDx speaker Kim Somers Egelsee.

For more than 20 years, Kim has helped people build confidence, connect authentically, discover their purpose, and share their unique gifts through writing, speaking, coaching, and media.

Kim opens up about some of the hardest seasons of her life, including breast implant illness, addiction, sobriety, and the process of rebuilding herself from the inside out. Through those experiences, she became more compassionate, more courageous, and even more committed to helping others find the light within their own challenges.

She also reminds us that fun, joy, and authenticity are not extras. They are practices that help us reconnect with ourselves, release the pressure to perform, and create a life that actually feels like our own.

IN THIS EPISODE, WE TALK ABOUT

• How Kim discovered her calling as a life and business coach

• Why confidence, happiness, and purpose are at the center of her work

• How difficult life experiences deepened her compassion and courage

• Kim’s journey through breast implant illness, addiction, and sobriety

• Finding meaning and growth after a painful season

• Why women often need permission to prioritize fun

• Creating more joy by intentionally putting fun on the calendar

• Why anticipation can be part of the fun

• Letting go of activities, relationships, and commitments that drain you

• How small moments of fun can create a more joyful life

• Why reconnecting with your inner child can support healing

• The relationship between movement, play, and emotional release

• What it really means to live as your authentic self

• The difference between genuine confidence and performance

• How social media, filters, and comparison can affect self-esteem

• Rebuilding confidence after years of shrinking or second-guessing yourself

• Why confidence can be learned

• Staying connected to your purpose without turning it into pressure

• Listening to your body before burnout takes over

• How to stop taking yourself and life so seriously

• Giving yourself permission to feel, soften, and fall apart when needed

• Embracing imperfections as part of self-love

• Kim’s simple practices for bringing more fun, joy, and bliss into everyday life

ABOUT KIM SOMERS EGELSEE

Kim Somers Egelsee is a TEDx speaker, 11-time international bestselling author, publisher, life and business coach, and podcast host.

For more than 20 years, she has specialized in helping people build confidence, connect authentically, and discover their life’s purpose. She also helps them create platforms to share their unique gifts through writing, speaking, coaching, and media.

Kim holds a degree in Speech Communication from California State University, Long Beach, as well as credentials in Educational Psychology. She is also certified in hypnotherapy, NLP, and life coaching.

She is the host of the Talk Purpose and Truth Podcast and the founder of Publishing Joy.

CONNECT WITH KIM

Website: www.kimlifecoach.com
Instagram: @kimlifecoach
Podcast: Talk Purpose and Truth Podcast
Publishing: Publishing Joy

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT

The Fun & Bliss Show with Kim Somers Egelsee

MONEEKA:
Hey there, Kim, welcome to the show!

KIM:
Thank you. I'm excited.

MONEEKA:
Yeah, we're excited too. So Kim, can you tell us, let's start with how did you get into the work you're doing now and what lights you up about it most?

KIM:
Yeah, I mean, I do several things under the umbrella of helping people be more confident and happy. And so that right there is something that's always been important to me. I'm a publisher, I'm an author, speaker, intuitive, life and business coach. I hosted a podcast for five years and all of it really under the umbrella of helping people step into their authenticity, confidence, happiness and positive power. and then I helped give them a platform to shine their gifts. And I think I really remember my first memory of that is as a kid, I would be gathering kids in the neighborhood and creating a stage in the backyard and putting on shows and entertaining the neighbors with all the kids in the neighborhood and helping them be happy. And then I'd have meetings in the clubhouse my grandpa bought me. And so kind of all just. fell into my purpose of creating women's circles and retreats and things like that. It all just came about like naturally allowing it to come forth. And it lights me up to see people realize they have the power to be themselves and be happy and be aligned with what they really love and who they really are.

MONEEKA:
I love that.

MONICK:
Yeah. So I know a little bit about your story. We've been friends for a long time, And I know that there have been some, obviously, there are ups, but then there are also downs that shaped you. So what parts of your own life have really shaped the way you coach and guide others?

KIM:
Yeah, I mean, I do not believe that every therapist, coach, or counselor has to experience hardship or trauma to understand it. But I do think that if you do and that's what your journey is, it helps you in many ways. so, you know, As recently as five years ago, I went through breast implant illness where I was having extreme, terrible symptoms. Like I felt almost like I was dying. and went to 25 plus doctors, healers, specialists, didn't know what it was, figured it out finally because a friend helped me realize and ended up struggling with drinking, and eventually had to get help for that, really hit bottom and felt in the dark for quite a while and then had them out, worked on myself, got sober. And I feel like sometimes you have those experiences in life where you look back and you're like, was that really me? that doesn't even, it almost doesn't feel like how would that happen to me? I'm normal. And you know, and I look back now and I don't regret anything because it made me so much more empathetic, compassionate and non-judgmental. It definitely made me way braver and stronger and able to cope with deeper mental health issues of things going on with my own kids or with people that I work with. And so that's just one example of something that was probably one of the hardest things I've ever gone through that ended up being bright in the end, something I won't regret. And so I think for those listening, when you're going through something you feel like you'll never come back from, if you just have faith that there will be a reason, there will be some sort of light or gift from it, even though it might feel terrible, that's a better way to look at it than just wallowing in it.

MONEEKA:
That is so, wow, just so powerful. I think so many people can look at our own story and say, nobody else has been through this, right? But then you hear a story like yours and you realize people go through stuff. All of us go through stuff. And really it's about what we choose to do with all of that, right? With the mindset, with our opinions and our attitudes and our heart around that. So you became a coach because of all of this. When did you, but there's gotta be, have been a turning point, right? When you were, you went from being just kind of interested in making people happy, interested in uplifting people to where now you realized, this is my calling. This is what I really am here to be doing. When did that happen for you?

KIM:
Right, yeah, it wasn't from that. I became a coach way before all that happened. I've been doing all of this for 22 years. So before that I was doing acting and modeling and singing in a rock group and I also taught special ed for quite a while and loved all of those things but never quite felt like it was my complete purpose and always heard those whispers of like, there's something else, there's more you're supposed to do. And I had been watching Jim Rohn, you know, got to meet him and everything over the years and starting to study, you know, Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen and all those guys, and then started reading spiritual works from different people. And so I was attracted to studying NLP and ended up getting certified in NLP and life coaching and realized, wait, this is what I'm supposed to actually do this. Pretty quickly after that, ended up leaving teaching special ed and working on finishing getting some certifications as well as using my college degree and just launched my business as a life coach. And within like a few days, I got two clients and I was panicking like, I'm really getting clients? Like, what do I do? And then it just kept going from there.

MONICK:
love that. Okay, so you know this show is called the Fun & Bliss Show. What does living a blissful life mean to you?

KIM:
Yeah, and I think Monick and I are similar. always talk about like, cause I'm, I've always been someone who is led by, you know, I get attracted and magnetized to fun and bliss. And, and I always have things on my schedule. I mean, I literally have things on my schedule all the way till December right now that are concerts, travel, musicals, know, meeting friends for whatever. I just, I get really excited. The anticipation is even part of the fun. You know, the feeling you get like, my God, I'm gonna go to Europe and what is it going to be like? And I haven't been to this part before. And of course, when you're there, it's just as fun. So I think it activates that childlike essence I've always had of just being enthusiastic, passionate and celebrating the awe of life or you're in awe. Like I actually could feel this happy and... you everything looks brighter. And it's kind of like my friend who's a unity pastor says, you know, God made life to be like every day is Disneyland, but that's up to us, you know? And so I really try to shape my life as much like that as possible and make it that way for my kids and my husband as well.

MONEEKA:
I really love that life's supposed to be like Disneyland. Is that what you just said? I love that.

KIM:
Yeah, that's amazing. Right.

MONEEKA:
So, women are out there being productive and amazing, right? We're out there and we're being productive and responsible and always on, but we're not having fun. So what do you think women need to relearn about fun and bliss?

KIM:
Right, I think that it sounds crazy, but a lot of women out there need permission, first of all. So it's almost like women have often been programmed to do everything, but not for themselves. And so if we start like on the show, I give you all permission to let go and have fun. And if it might start with just planning three hours a week because they have no free time. And then all of a sudden like, I like that. me plan next week. I'm gonna plan six hours and then I'm gonna actually block out a day. And so I think it takes discipline, like Monick says, bliscipline. It takes practice, it takes boundaries. So you must learn to say no to the things that don't light you up. Like if this person brings you down or if this part of your... profession isn't fulfilling you, maybe there's a way to eventually stop doing it or slowly walk away from it and start doing something else. And I think that we get caught up in feeling like we're trapped instead of going, well, let me just start with a tiptoe and then little steps and eventually get to a place of like, okay, I can be in charge of my schedule, which I mean, I only usually work 20 hours a week and I'm... having fun and doing things with my kids the rest of the time, you know?

MONICK:
I love that. So you've talked about a few things that you do for fun. So what would you say are the main things that you do for fun these days?

KIM:
For the big things, mean, I think like I would say that we average, like I average going to two to four concerts a month. Cause I just love, that's one of my favorite things to do and try to go on three to four decent sized trips a year. Some mini trips too. Like for example, next month we have, you know, a weekend in Vegas seeing No Doubt at the Sphere. So that's like a mini trip. But just for regular everyday fun, to me it's fun. to journal and to read and to color mandalas and to, you know, act silly with my kids or play basketball with my daughter. You know, try new restaurants. I live right by the beach, so we go to the beach and just walk on the beach with a dog or something. So I think it's a different definition for everyone and they forget that something simple might be fun. It might be fun for you to just sit and look out the window and watch butterflies go by. You know, it doesn't have to always be this thing that costs a lot of money.

MONEEKA:
Yeah, Monick and I talk an awful lot about small little fun moments. She's got her little dance button.

KIM:
30. I love it.

MONICK:
We dance party.

MONEEKA:
So yeah, it's great to just have those moments during your day. It doesn't have to be big. It can be really small or it can be whatever you want it to be. It can be free. can cost money, whatever, right? So all over the map. So you know what I love is that your publishing company is called Publishing Joy. I love that. Talk to us about what joy means to you and why it's so central to all that you do, to all of your work.

KIM:
Yeah, it's my middle name is Joy and my partner in my publishing company's middle name is Joy. So we were like, it's just natural that we would be publishing Joy. But even like the last book I did was that Monick was in was Choosing Positivity, 35 Ways to Spark Joy into Your Life. And then the book I have coming out in May with my partner is Discover the Gift of Joy, How to Experience Joy in Work, Life and Relationships. And my mom said that they chose Joy as a middle name because they felt like I had the energy of joy. And so I think, I don't know if it's the combination of the name and just who I've always been, but I want other people to feel that way too. And so I would love to do that through teaching and writing and speaking and things like that. I realized finally, like maybe 10 years ago, that you can't just go up and fix everybody. So it's better to do it on a bigger platform. because otherwise you end up burned out. So yeah.

MONICK:
I love that. And I have that book here, Choosing Positivity, by the way, 35 Ways to Spark Joy Into Your Life. So, you know, what inspired that project and your upcoming one, which is about the gift of joy? What are you hoping readers would receive from this?

KIM:
Yeah, so the book we just did that you were in with Choosing Positivity, I got 35 amazing women that have all different stories, backgrounds, challenges. And even though some of the stories have very, like sometimes really crazy and hard to believe challenges that someone went through, they end it with talking about how they still found joy and how can you as a reader do that too? And I think that is really the message is when people feel hopeless, like I have people telling me they have that book on their nightstand and they're able just to open it to a chapter and go, okay, I felt like I went to sleep with hope or faith or, you know, some sort of way that I can add joy into my life. Because I know that when you're going through a really dark challenge, it's hard to even remember your own name, let alone how to bring joy into your life. So if you learn to have it ahead of time, then you have those tools. And so that's with our next book. coming out, it's a very conscious, enlightened type book. We have a lot of really deep transformational teachers and lightworkers in it, including we have the Dalai Lama in it. We have Marianne Williamson, Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hansen. So we have writings from all of them in it as well. And so there's a lot of very enlightened ways to look at discovering joy and how to heal deep aspects of yourself that might be blocking that joy.

MONICK:
So good. Yeah, so I was really honored to be in that book and write a chapter about fun.

MONICK:
You might have guessed that I wrote about how to use fun. What role do you think fun plays in sparking joy and helping women come back to themselves?

KIM:
think fun connects you back with your inner child and we forget like that every age of us is still with us. We carry it. We don't just go, we were eight, it's gone, it's back there and we don't have it anymore. We have all of those ages. And it was funny because my daughter does acting and she was telling me how she's been trying to reconnect to her six year old self because there was something traumatic that happened at that age and she's working on healing it. And she goes, mom, I was doing this method acting exercise. And I forgot all about, you know, the thing and I was doing these movement exercises and dances and all of a sudden I felt like my six year old self and I was able to connect with that aspect. And so she was having fun, moving, dancing, acting silly, carefree, letting go. That's huge, letting go. And she was able to access that side of her that was able to work on healing the trauma, but also I was having fun. I let go and kids, are able, most of them are able to just let go. And if we get to a place where, you know, we're at a concert and we're able, you know what, my body feels like having fun. I'm gonna get up and just start moving and not worry about what anyone in the audience is looking at. Because I see most people sitting down worried about what will people think so I'm not gonna get up and dance. And they're not gonna have as much fun if they don't just let go and dance. And so I feel like fun adds joy and it increases your endorphins, your feel-good chemicals, know, the, what are the ones where you go in a women's circle and you talk about that Monick. Oxytocin. Oxytocin, yes, fun increases those and there thus improves your mental health and helps your nervous system stay balanced.

MONEEKA:
Yeah, that's really, really good. I love this idea of, you know, kind of losing yourself in movement. And I think that, you know, like someone like Monick, you, me, we are used to that kind of getting back into our bodies, right? And it brings us to our more authentic self, our fully embodied self, right? But everybody doesn't.

MONEEKA:
have full access to that for whatever reason, we're encouraging them to do it, right? So that's what this is about. But talk to me a little bit about getting into your authentic self if you don't have access to things immediately. And what does that mean? Like, what does it mean to be your authentic self and come out into the world as your authentic self?

KIM:
Right. just, you know, even if it takes a long time to get to that place where you feel like you're being your complete authentic self, once you get there, it is so much easier, freer and lighter to live that way. And you just, live more joyful, you live more happy. And it took me a long time. I thought I was being completely my authentic self, even when I started my business. And I realized the first few years, I was still in that ego, caring what people think. So I think what helped me is really diving deep into studying the ego and what it is and journaling and working with a few different healers and things like that. But even if you can't just journal, there's so much information online that you can do your own exercises, journal, listen to things, watch things. I love the shift by Dr. Wayne Dyer. He talks about, what's the difference between the ego and your true self and your conscious self. And so it helped me to be aware when I was showing up as ego, when I was showing up, because the littlest thing is sometimes you're not realizing you're still an ego. And so if you learn how to shed the ego, then it's easier to start getting to a place of like, okay, well, I'm to be really extra self-aware. And this next thing, this next time I go out with a group of friends, I'm going to work on letting go and maybe being completely vulnerable for 10 minutes and just be very conscious of that. And then later ask myself, how did that feel? Are you okay? You didn't run away from the table crying. So you did it. And then maybe another time you're like, I'm gonna actually spend the whole time I'm meeting with my friends, letting go and just being myself. I'm gonna dance at a concert, like I said, you And so it's little steps that finally one day you can wake up and go. Damn, like, of course I'm still a work in progress, but I feel like really authentic and I feel like me. And I think it's definitely possible, you guys are nodding, you probably have the same thing where you wake up and you're like, I finally did it. Like I'm there, I'm not ego anymore. Like at least most of the time.

MONEEKA:
I love that at least most of the time. Yeah. Exactly.

KIM:
We're human.

MONICK:
Yeah, I love being me. Why do you think that so many women hold themselves back from being fully seen?

KIM:
What?

KIM:
I think that the number one thing is that we're scared of bad feedback, negative feedback, being not liked, being not accepted, compared to someone else, laughed at. That's really the number one thing. So it's fear. It's fear of what could happen and the pressure to be perfect. And that is due to... maybe feeling like we don't deserve something or comparing ourselves to people online. That's why, you know, there's such an epidemic I'm noticing of women using filters and using AI images of themselves instead of actually showing their truth of who they really are. And that's a whole nother version of that. And there are studies that show that when we do that too much, then our self-esteem actually drops because what happens is we look in the mirror and we're like, wait, I don't look perfect, like my AI filtered image, ugh, I'm disgusting. And then they use the filtered AI image even more. And so I think that it might take some encouragement from other people, some permission from other people. I've had clients that felt like they were scared to put themselves out there with video. That's a really common one. And so I work with them like, okay, we're gonna just do it. Okay, just act like you're talking to me, pretend the camera's not there. And once they get over the fear and it's posted and I'm like, you can't touch it, it's on my page, then they're like, I did it, I feel better. And it starts to become like not as big of a deal. So I think that, you know, it's just getting over that mountain.

MONEEKA:
So what's the difference between confidence and performance?

KIM:
Yeah, well, that's a good question. You know, it's kind of similar to authenticity versus ego. So performance, and there's been a lot of talk of that right now because there are a lot of people you see on Instagram or social media or TikTok that are like, I've realized that if I perform and look the part and talk the part and say I'm this like financial guru, they'll pay me and I can just pretend and give them information that I found on ChatGPT and make all this money. And so that would be example of performative or let me look the way I think that my audience wants me to look versus how do I want to look, you know? And so I think being confident is knowing you're enough, whether or not you get 20 people giving you likes or 200 people giving you likes. knowing you're enough and loving who you are. And the rest is a bonus, but you're doing it to inspire and you're doing it for whoever's supposed to hear you, you know, and if you're not out in the public eye, then you know, you're fulfilling your life's purpose for whoever your audience is or your client list is, but you're not doing it to get accolades or to make quick money or to get attention. And I think sadly what happens with those who are being performative is a lot of times inside they're slowly feeling worse and worse and worse because they're not being their true selves.

MONEEKA:
I think for performance, sorry Monick, I just feel like this was so, so powerful because I do feel like we talk a lot about being authentic and confident and in our businesses and in our world, it's so valued to perform. So I loved what you had to say about that, especially with social media or whatever. It is really important to distinguish the difference and why you're doing stuff. So thank you so much for that.

KIM:
Yeah, it's interesting because like exactly how you two are being with this show, it's showing in the most recent research for branding, marketing and social media that people are actually being more drawn to real imperfect, know, people who are talking like everyday talking, not like we're doing some big performance, you know, at a prestigious stage and we have to talk a certain way. People are being more drawn to the everyday thing. than someone who is performative. And so even just regular handheld camera videos are getting more views than those that have a big production crew. So that's refreshing because I think people are getting sick of the fake.

MONEEKA:
I agree with you on that.

MONICK:
But were you implying that we're not perfect?

KIM:
I'm squishing.

MONICK:
What do you think helps someone to rebuild back their confidence after years of shrinking, filtering, second guessing? You've done a lot of work around confidence. What are some of the things that you think are most helpful for women to rebuild?

KIM:
I mean, I think that, you know, like, I'll give you an example of, had a woman that was in an abusive, narcissistic relationship and she stayed for so long. I think it was like 32 years or something. And she was just, she just didn't know. I don't know. She just wasn't in a place where she felt she could leave. And she finally left and she felt very scared of the world and timid and not confident anymore, insecure. And, but she was determined. And I think if you have determination, even if you just have to like find the little bit of determination inside, she had determination. And so she was like, I'm just gonna read everything I can get my hands on, you know, and she really couldn't afford much. So she was just talking to people that she knew and getting feedback on what do you think my strengths are? And it was helping her go, okay, I see that too. Like, I do have that. when they told her strengths, it helped her remember. So she started letting out. Like, I do have this empowering presence. You know, I am a good listener. I am patient. And so I think that really started to help. And then I remember talking, or I was working with her years ago, and I remember talking to her about choices. And I said, you no longer make those choices that make you feel low or insecure or negative. You have to start making the choices of your dreams, visions, and goals, and the way you want your future to be. So sometimes that does mean she had to let go of some of those people that were there when she was with her ex that were drama and complaining and bringing her down, even though those people got angry at her. And it hurt her for a little while, but then she felt better later. And she's like, thank God I did that. And so it's a process for sure, but that's another thing, like how I said, you could wake up feeling like you're authentic and free. You also can wake up and think, “I finally feel confident.”, like confidence can be learned, which is really awesome.

MONEEKA:
Yeah. know, Kim, I'm an introvert and I used to be quite the wallflower in all the way through high school until I left for college. People would never guess that now because I think it is learned skill. And I've been blessed to be around a lot of people who are willing to teach me, willing to be patient with me, and also willing to model what confidence really looks like in a way that I wanted to emulate. Because confidence does also look different on different people, right? And so we also have a choice in how we show up in that confidence, right? anyways, you were talking about superpowers, like what is your superpower? So I want to ask you, what is your natural superpower? The thing that you do best when you're not trying?

KIM:
say intuition, because I'm very intuitive and I feel blessed that I get, I don't get intuition just one way. I receive it in many ways like clairvoyance, claircognizance, clairsentience, all of it. I probably get claircognizance the most so I'll know something without knowing how I know it. It'll just come in and I actually will feel this kind of like an energy coming in through my brain and I get answers to things, guidance and I'm able to help people. And so I feel like very blessed to be able to, I think we all have that, but to be able to actually use it.

MONEEKA:
That's cool.

MONICK:
gotten to benefit from your dad's support. Oftentimes in our conversation, she's like, I'm getting this download.

MONICK:
So how do you think women can stay connected to their purpose without turning it into pressure?

KIM:
Yeah, that's a hard one. I think paying attention to how they feel. So your body's gonna tell you the answers with that. And I understand that sometimes if you have a big purpose, maybe the first several years or five years or more, you may need to hustle and be a go-getter a little more than you will later because you wanna build. And so that's understandable. depending on what your business is. You know, I went into the publishing thinking that I was gonna probably add another 20 hours a week. And I've been working that saying work smarter, not harder. I've been just scheduling so careful and knowing what I'm doing. And it ends up that I'm really not that often working more than 20, 25 hours a week, just sometimes. And so I think listening to your body, like, do I feel overloaded? Is this, you know, feeling like burnout? And then what can I do to address that? And it may be that you can't do it all. You might need to hire someone. You might need to take an extra year to build rather than build all at once. There's different things you can do. And I think for those who can't, because I understand sometimes for financial reasons, someone might have to work 50 hours a week. Then I think finding, telling your mind, OK, I have a 10 minute break. I'm gonna go walk around the block and take breaths and look at the birds. Tell yourself, “I am relaxing.” Saying that consciously can help. It helps your whole nervous system go, okay. And you'll think that 10 minutes felt like 40 minutes because of how you were conscious of that 10 minutes.

MONEEKA:
I love that. I'm going to do that. Tell my brain I'm relaxing. love that. What do you think is a forgotten truth, Kim, about staying blissful or keeping life fun that you think everybody should remember?

KIM:
would say, like, this is a common cliche one, but I would say don't take life so seriously. Don't take yourself so seriously. I think that if we can laugh at ourselves and be silly and ridiculous several times a day, and that is a form of letting go. That is a form Bob Marley talked about, you know, the art of vulnerability is true freedom. You know, I don't know if that's the exact quote, but basically. But I think that if we can practice letting go and being silly, which is fun, then, you know, it might be something like, let me play twister with my husband. You know what I mean? It might be something silly. But the more you can practice letting go, even if you're in the car by yourself and you sing at the top of your lungs or you scream or, you know, make faces and nobody else knows. It's still practicing letting go and not taking life so seriously.

MONICK:
So, you know, that might be a similar answer, but when life gets heavy or overly serious, where do think people get stuck?

KIM:
in the emotions of... Yeah, in the emotions. And I'm guilty of that sometimes. I remember we just went to Hawaii in January and I got some weird bug and half the trip was messed up because I didn't feel well. And then I got home and caught the flu from my daughter on top of the bug. So I had two illnesses at once, and it kept dragging on. And so I kind of caught myself for a few days getting caught up in feeling frustration. and like, can't go do anything and this sucks and I'm sick of feeling this way. And I finally caught myself going, wait a minute, this is making it way worse. I'm probably keeping myself sick. And so it took some conscious reprogramming myself, kind of wrote out how I felt in my journal and that helped get it out. And then started to reframe it and go, okay, this is rest time. There's a reason for this, know, that kind of thing. So not getting stuck in the emotions of it. And it might literally be shaking your emotions out, like jumping up and down and going out and standing in the grass with your bare feet, whatever, or coloring. That is a great way, like just to get your kind of your emotions stabilized.

MONEEKA:
So that leads into this other idea of sometimes it's just hard to reconnect, right? To soften and reconnect and really let those emotions out, like feel safe to do that, right? So what do you suggest around that?

KIM:
Yeah, I mean, I think that sometimes we as women get so used to holding it all together that we train our body to hold it all in because we can't be seen falling apart, you know? And so I find that it helps to watch, Sometimes I will watch a sad movie, you know, or watch something that I know will make me cry. And then I realize like, okay, I know I'm not just crying about this. It's like other stuff coming out. But that, think that really helps. I think talking to someone you really trust that you know you could open up with will help, like to consciously say, okay, I'm gonna allow myself to talk about this. Because I think what happens is we get scared of the emotions that we're gonna look ridiculous and fall apart in front of someone. So it has to be someone that we totally trust. Even sometimes looking in the mirror and just being like, okay, I know you're sad, you're allowed to let it out. You know, so there's, you know, there's different things, but again, it's like permission to just go, you are human, it's okay if you fall apart for a day.

MONICK:
So good. I'm curious. What's, what are some of like your go-to sad movies?

KIM:
Well, I cry during sentimental movies. so like, I love the movie Green Book. Like I always cry with that movie. That's a, that's a wonderful movie. It just like something about it. Or like just like sappy movies, like when Harry met Sally, you know. Yeah, I don't know. Or just Disney movies.

MONICK:
All right, thank you. And then we're like, making a note. What's really exciting you right now, like in your life?

KIM:
say okay so my kids always excite me so what they're doing excites me and they're both doing stuff in the performing arts so that's exciting i live through them as well like you know in a healthy way because i get excited for them with them and i love doing the publishing company i'm excited because i'm having another red-carpet book launch in may for the book that's always fun because we monique knows she's been to the last two like we have music and the last one we had dancing and. Yeah, red carpet. So I would say that, but then like on in my personal life, I would say I'm most excited to we're traveling most like we are still figuring it out, but we will most likely go to Europe this summer. So my dad is worried about gas prices, but we'll see.

MONICK:
party.

MONEEKA:
Awesome. Are you going with your dad?

KIM:
My parents usually go with us. They always travel with us. Yeah, they usually. They're like, I'm an only child and my parents are my best friends. And so they're very young spirited. And so they usually They do not join every trip, but they travel with us often.

MONICK:
Our parents are awesome.

MONEEKA:
Yeah, that's really fun. I used to do that with my parents too, when they could travel. So that's really amazing. Kim, if listeners could try one tiny meaningful experiment this week to bring them more fun, more joy or more bliss, what would you invite them to try?

KIM:
say, so what's coming to me is to love yourself more. And what's been working for me well with doing that is to start working on accepting yourself for your imperfections. So I used to be in the habit of looking in the mirror and finding imperfections. And even today, I had to go film a bunch of videos for a promo thing that we're doing. And the first thought in my head was, you have a double chin in all the videos. And then I went, you know what, I'm 52, I look damn good. Like I look cute. It makes me look younger. It's fine. And the imperfections make people like you more. And so there, I reframed it. And the same thing whenever I put my foot in my mouth and maybe say something silly or, you know, do something dumb, then instead of going, oh, I'm so stupid, which is what people do. then I will say like, well, I'm human. that was so funny that I did that, you know? And so I've been really working on embracing my imperfections, which in turn is helping me love myself more, which in turn affects confidence and authenticity.

MONICK:
Yeah, I love that. always, if I do something, I just go, I'm so adorable. I like to think of myself as like a little toddler that's fallen on her. I'm just like, I am so cute.

KIM:
Yes, compassion. Compassion for self.

MONICK:
cute am I to make that mistake? Adorable. Alright, so it's time for our Fun & Bliss lightning round. Okay. And so what's your go to when you need an instant joy boost?

KIM:
Let's see, friends. Okay.

MONICK:
for the show. Nice.

MONEEKA:
Okay, and what's one totally silly thing that never fails to make you laugh?

KIM:
my daughter doing impersonations of Damon Wayans and Jim Carrey?

KIM:
being in nature.

MONEEKA:
I love that. And Kim, what's the best way for people to connect with you and find out more about your beautiful, amazing, joyful self?

KIM:
Yeah, so publishing-joy.com is the publishing website. And then my website for me is kimsomersegelese.com, which it's Kim and then S-O-M-E-R-S-E-G-E-L-S-E or at Kim life coach on Instagram.

MONICK:
Amazing. And we'll put the links in the show notes for everyone.

MONEEKA:
For those of you that see the podcast or watch this on YouTube. Yeah.

MONICK:
Yeah. All right. Kim, thank you so much. That was amazing.

KIM:
Thank you, it was so fun. I noticed like all three of us, have this, like all of us have similar smiles. Like we're not our age, we're our energy. Like we have this vibrancy and that is because of having fun.

MONICK:
I don't believe it.

MONEEKA:
interesting. Like, I don't know if you've noticed this, and Monick, but you're out in the world. And then you meet somebody and you're like, that person looks like me and, they may be whatever color or tall, short, fat, thin, whatever. But if they've got that energy, right, the fun energy, you feel magnetized to them, right? Everybody feels magnetized them, but you feel like you met a soul sister, right? Yeah. So, and I definitely feel like we had that today. So nice to meet you, Kim.

KIM:
You too. Thank you guys for having me on.

MONICK:
Thank you for being here. was so fun.